Wednesday, February 28, 2018

It’s Fear




                                  It’s Fear

Anyone who in normal everyday life gets what may be little panic attacks, can probably relate to what follows.

They seem to occur at random, and in my case usually went unnoticed by anyone standing by. They varied in intensity, with kind of a grip, squeeze and release scenario. Time, seemed to be the only answer to recovery.

I’ve always compared it to what happens to a small puddle of water, when suddenly out of the blue, a great big boot comes along and stomps in it, sending the water, (you) scattering everywhere. And, it takes a little while, an hour or two, for you to re-gather yourself as your wits slowly seep back into place.

My little “Momentary seizures” weren’t debilitating, in as much as I could still function fairly normally afterward, so I managed to do OK by just going with the flow. I’d fret a little, analyze a little, surrender at times, but in a while the water always seeped back into place, and all was back to normal.

Years ago, my parents told the story about how that once when they came home from a night out, and asked the babysitter how it went with me, a toddler, while they were gone. The young lady responded, “No problem at all. He spent the whole night standing there behind that door!”

In my late twenties, while in Germany working as a civilian at a military base, a strange thing happened. An older friend, a lady whose family I was visiting, was leaning over her kitchen sink, facing away from me when she said once, then confirmed it by saying again, “It’s fear.” It was as if she was answering a question that I hadn’t even asked out loud. I think the question was, what is the elephant in the room? That crazy thing that I just couldn’t figure out.

I dealt with this “Elephant” throughout mid-life using the “Tough guy” approach, gritting my teeth and pushing through. It worked, but the root problem went unattended. I believe we have to find, or more aptly put, be found by Divine Love, at our very core, which requires faith and trust on our part. Pretty much what it’s all about I guess. Strange that after having been a Christian for forty-two years, I feel like I’m only now beginning to scratch that surface. There’s always more I guess.

Lead us oh God, to trust from the heart, and to move freely without fear, knowing that when in your hands, there is nothing to fear.


Back To Blog Menu

Back To Main Menu

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Basic Trust





                               Basic Trust

One of the few college level courses I completed was Psychology 101, where I learned that “Basic trust” is formed in early childhood and is the foundation of the human psyche.

I believe God helps us deal with this matter of insecurity, by direction us to “Behold” the fact that our true foundation is found in Zion.

I think it’s safe to say, that the foundation laid by the hand of God, is far greater than anything my mind can contain. I love the scripture that says He is above all, through all and in us all. But when I look up over this iPad, through these reading glasses and out into this empty room, I realize that the foundation He provided is present and real, more real than I know.

This is hard to grasp when one is in the throes of a trial of some kind. But, I know in my case, when I think back over the last few years, and I know I can’t begin to grasp God’s purifying ways in my life, but those “Sink or swim” trials seem in my simple view, to have been at least partly about removing from me whatever false “Floatation device” I was grasping for. And, after flailing around in the open water for a while, finally trusting in my true foundation, which was there for me all along. I guess that's why God lovingly says “Behold.” Some things I just have to learn the hard way it seems.


Thursday, February 1, 2018

Alternating Current




                        Alternating Current

In a Church service I attended a while back, the speaker said that our thinking is like alternating current. The direction of flow constantly alternates between negative and positive. I believe that contained there-in is a gift from above: seamless open passage from the negative to the positive, no conflict, no judgement, no questions asked. As natural and necessary for health and life in this world for me, a fallen human being, as is the relaxing in-and-out nature of breathing.

I’m so grateful that because of the life changing nature of the cross, there’s not a scowling face of some kind there, with folded arms and tapping foot, waiting to hinder my passage at the gate, as I begin to look up, feel the sun, and breath the fresh clean air of new life.